Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
