I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it hurts more in the daytime
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
