I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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