But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
