I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
