id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
