I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
