i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
