I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
