What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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