all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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