I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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