So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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