It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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