just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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