After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
