Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
