Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
