Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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