Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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