So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
