Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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