make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
