You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
