"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wear drunk well.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
