I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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