Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
