Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
