She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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