I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it's like iHOP with fire
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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