I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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