So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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