I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
