i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
