the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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