We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
