Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's shark week go big or go home
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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