dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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