Cold hands, warm shart.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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