need another drink. this is the easiest way
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I am available for nakedness
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
