Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
