Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
