i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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