none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
