I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
