good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
