my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
