she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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