My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
