There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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