i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
