People with herpes should wear stickers.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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