at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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